Hopelessy Confused

Dear Clover,5 years ago

I'm 15 years old & I know emotions at this age are crazy but I can't make up my mind about this guy. He's my best friend, I can tell him anything & he'll listen ... if he sees me crying he gets upset, he makes me laugh when I'm mad & my parents love him sometimes I think more than me. We flirt and hang out almost every weekend & he really does make me happy. Everybody says we should be together & I think he has feelings for me by some of the things he says to me because its evident & you wouldn't say stuff like that to people you wouldn't want something with...(the male mind confuses me so much !)

Last week we hung out with a bunch of my friends and his friends and when I got home with my friends they told me that he looks at me differently than he looks at any other girl...that he looks at me and you can see how much he cares about me in his eyes... I like him a lot & I don't know if I'm just afraid of relationships or ruining what a good friendship we have but there's something inside of me that always keeps me from saying something to him .. I want to tell him how I feel so bad but at the same time I'd rather him tell me first. I don't want to be the one to take the next step. Please help me :(

fifteen & fading

Love & Romance

4 answers

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Dear fifteen & fading,5 years ago

Assuming he's not gay and doesn't constantly talk about other girls then he probably does like you. Unfortunately a lot of guys are timid, especially at that age. Even though you'd prefer he make the first move, you might have to wait a long time. I know it's hard but your best bet is to tell him (a little) of how you feel and ask him if he wants to make your friendship more of a boy-girl relationship.
Your other option is to ask one your friends or his friends to try to find out if he has feelings for you.
It's true that if it doesn't work out the way you hope, the nature of your friendship may altered but that will happen eventually anyway as you both eventually graduate and move on with your lives. Good luck!!


Dear fifteen & fading,5 years ago

There's a saying, "no risk, no reward" which you should keep in mind if what you're worried about is ruining a good friendship. You need to take a little risk by letting him know what you're thinking and if he's truly a good friend you should be able to keep your friendship even if he's not interested, although based on what you write it sounds like he is interested. On the other hand if it's that you're afraid of relationships then you should just take it slow and do what is comfortable in your situation.


1 vote by Aunt_Lucy

Dear fifteen & fading,5 years ago

There is no time like the present to jump in the water with both feet. I had a friend exactly like that starting in high school, and I still have a good relationship with him to this day. Just as you, my parents just loved him. Everything was different if I was with him instead of other friends, I could stay out longer, go out even if I was grounded, you know what I'm talking about.

I talked to him about everything, and boy do I mean everything. Conversations came easy between us and we never judged one another. Open lines of communication are one of the most important features of relationships. If you can't talk to someone about everything, what's the point? Both of you seem to have feelings for each other, so don't get caught up in those silly games people play in the beginning of relationships. If you like him, tell him, it's your friendship that matters most, not who tells who first.

Whether you end up dating or not, from what you have described, your friendship is strong enough to survive something like this. Don't pass up the chance of finding a soul-mate, because he didn't tell you first. People usually say soul-mates are right under your nose, you just aren't seeing it. Take a chance on yourself and find out what could be so you don't have to spend your life wondering what could have been.


1 vote by starfish

Dear fifteen & fading,2 years ago

Be patient and spend time with him alone. Flirt with him.