Having a Relationship with an Older Man

Dear Clover,5 years ago

I am an attractive 18 year old female and like older men i.e. 30 year olds and wonder why I've never had a real relationship, only one nighters. They suck. What must I change for a mature, stable man to come sweep me off my feet.


Love & Romance

3 answers

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Dear anonymous,5 years ago

Most mature, stable men around thirty, who are ready for a solid relationship, are looking for someone as mature as they are. I'm not talking about maturity, as it equates to age. I'm talking about mental maturity. Your idea of some guy, sweeping you off your feet, is very fanciful and sweet, but not very practical. That’s not the way things happen, in real life.

A good relationship requires time to grow. You attend school or go to your job, or belong to a club or group, and you meet people. Sooner or later, it's inevitable that you're going to meet someone who likes you and whom you like. If the feeling is mutual, then you could become friends. And from that friendship, something deeper may evolve. There is no way to plan such a meeting. It just happens, as you go through life, and that’s truly the way it is.

You don't have to change yourself, to attract those types of men. In fact, it's much better if you're just being yourself. If you put on an act, you're not going to attract the right person for you.

I'm assuming that you have a job or go to college. So my advice to you would be to work on your career and socialize with people who are a little older than you are. I can promise you that sooner or later, you'll find the one who's meant for you, without doing much more than just pursuing life.

And just remember that solid relationships include much responsibility and a major commitment. If you’re not willing to accept that, then you’re not ready for that kind of relationship…yet.


1 vote by starfish

Dear anonymous,5 years ago

What is keeping you from finding a stable relationship is best answered by taking a long look in the mirror and asking yourself why you continue to treat men with one night stands? The one word that keeps a date from turning into a”one-nighter”’ is NO, and you are the only person who can say that.

A mature man is not going to sweep you off your feet; he is going to seize the opportunity to sleep with an attractive 18 year old, unless you start saying NO. You need a man to build a relationship with; one that will keep your feet on the floor and off the bed until the time is right.

I sincerely hope you used protection during your one night stands. For precaution, I would recommend going to your Doctor, or an anonymous clinic to have a complete series of testing performed.


1 vote by starfish

Dear anonymous,5 years ago

You don't sleep with them one the first night. That lowers your value as a potential mate.