1 year break-up

Dear Clover,5 years ago

I used to have strong feelings for my girlfriend and had high aspirations of where our relationship could go. However, it appears that I have lost my feelings for her because I don't get that same feeling when I kiss her. How should I go about breaking it off?


Breaking Up

3 answers

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Dear anonymous,5 years ago

There is no mystery in breaking things off with your girlfriend, if you’ve already decided to end the relationship, tell her exactly what you wrote here. Be honest with her, otherwise she’ll question herself every day about what she could have done differently to make it work out.

Nevertheless, don’t judge your entire relationship on how you feel when you kiss, look at the big picture, and think about how she makes you feel the other 23 hours of the day. Why not start with a conversation, you both may learn some things about each other and decide it’s worth a shot.


2 votes by mdc, starfish

Dear anonymous,5 years ago

If you want to break up with your girlfriend, the best way is to tell her in person, not by text or over the phone, the sooner the better, but you should verbalize what's going on more than just telling her that kissing isn't the same anymore. You don't have to be specific, something like, "I think we're moving in different directions over the past few months". However, as @Aunt_Lucy wrote, there's way more to a relationship than just a kiss.


1 vote by Aunt_Lucy

Dear anonymous,5 years ago

Relationships wax and wane with time. If you are with a partner a number of years, it's natural that your attraction to one another will hit peaks and troughs. The only thing to do is talk to her and be honest about your feelings, if you are worried about upsetting her then keeping things like like to yourself is a sure fire way to hurt your partner. Be considerate and respectful in your approach, you may find that she feels the same and you both think that the relationship has reached it's natural conclusion or you may find that the feelings you describe are actually part of a bigger problem that the two of you can work though. Weigh things out yourself before you speak to her, does she still make you happy in other ways? Do you make her happy? Can you see the two of you together for a much longer time?